Seaside Reverie

First step off the boards, shockingly hot and prickly
Second step, cooler and softer...
Wind sweeps the hair from your face
Closer to the rushing calmness, leaving footprints behind
Finding the perfect spot to come to rest
Drop and set up your own little paradise
Sink into the cold, damp mush... toes curl over tiny pebbles
Contrast of the hot to cold, just right
Burying your stress deep beneath
Lifting handfuls, spread your fingers, soon empty again

So simple and carefree under the sun
Quiet birdsong, giggles, airplanes
Interactive soundtrack, complete with smells, sights, touch
Fishy, salty air fills your senses
Visions of umbrellas, kites, boats
Castles made with innocent determination and imagination
Lean back, breathe in and out
Soaking up rays of precious gold

Time to test the waters, a rush of excitement and dread
Standing just at the edge, afraid to move
But it comes anyway, creeping closer
Shrieking, you tiptoe further and further, then run for shore
Eventually numbness takes your limbs
Giving in to the sparkling beauty
Diving with each crashing wave, floating away in your mind
Lips turn salty, skin is raw and dry
Your hair plastered into frizzy knots

But only fun and laughter can be seen from shore to shore
Even as the redness starts to show
And tired muscles start to ache
You never want to leave this place of wonder and peace
On the way, anticipation grew
Heading home, reality sets in
What once was a weekend away, now feels like only hours
A fairytale, turned inside out
Happily ever backwards

Vacation, Retreat, Escape, Renewal...Only for fleeting moments
Inevitably repose will fade away
We go back to the daily routine
But somewhere deep inside we hold the cherished memories
And we silently anticipate return
To the sand, the water, the song
Where ocean meets land, heaven meets earth, and we forget ourselves again

Like, Oh My Gosh!

Seeing the good in everything, the pure in everyone
You go about your day with a smile on your face
Each moment treated like a gift, God's blessing for you
Everyone must have something to offer this world
You believe in what is right and true, naive to the core
Your days are filled with joy and optimistic spirit
Trusting and providing for the ones who cannot see

When the world sees you smile and hears you speak
They judge and say you are a fool, a dreamer
You cannot truly be this happy, this content in life
Do you not realize the hurt and pain all around us?
Can you not see how foolish and immature you are?
They worry for your innocence, you'll only end up hurt
Eventually someone will take advantage of your heart

But Jesus says to trust and hope, to see the good in all
He tells us to be faithful, never give up on our brothers
Offering a kind hand to anyone willing to take hold
Not judging or condemning them, but meeting them halfway
You follow in the footsteps laid our for all of us to take
Believing in mankind as what we were once created for
Trusting in His promises that He will redeem and reward
Those of us who laugh it off, who smile and keep on

~~Dedicated to two girls I know who give me a cavity every time they speak~~

Lime Rickey

The matters of me and the powers that be
The white in the light and the vision of sight
The dark of the cold and the anger we hold
The ignorance of bliss and the reality of this
Tomorrow, today is all we can say
When redemption is near and we're frozen in fear
There's a silence in grace while stuck in this place
So you and I know we're beginning to grow
And yesterday's gone, prepare for the dawn
When the earth is broken and His voice has spoken
Leaving this all behind, seek and ye shall find

Magnetize

How can you give me my space while backing me into a corner?
How can you pull me close while pushing with everything you've got?
How can you smile so beautiful then turn around with evil eyes?
How can you touch so softly only to keep such a distance from me?
How can I be so perfect when I'm the opposite of all that you need?
How can our souls align when two sides lock horns in frustration?
How can encouragement divine turn to words of hot resentment?
How can we float so high above then come crashing to the pavement?

The contradiction, co-mingling spirits, aggravation, two hearts beat as one...
This beautiful, hideous, utopian nightmare in black and white color vision
So much confusion in clear, bright daylight... brings laughter from tears, passion from fury
And this creature, this monster, this blessing, this curse... Supernatural journey from start to finish
Taking up arms to fight for the good times and absolve the rest, to never give up, give in to the enemy of this...
This ridiculous, amazing, surprising thing...
This gift of forever with you

Exposed

Ribbon tied tightly to hold back strands of your shroud
What has hidden your face from the others for so long
Covering tears and sadness creeping down your cheek
Blushing inner beams of attraction, bashful glances
Angry furrowing brow, fuming scowls of rage
Blank and empty stares, numbing every feeling
All these and others are now exposed for all to see

Suddenly the urge to pull, freeing locks of comfort
Pretenses returning to their place, ready and waiting
Your hands nervously fidget with the silky laces
As you fight to keep the smile from breaking
Plan once designed to preserve precious self worth
Now feeling like temptation to become like them
Unapologetic, show your face, your truth, your soul
Keep the ribbon tied tight, emotion reads sincerity
Pull it loose to hide in shame the mess that you are

Have you become such a coward? Who are you?
Maybe veils are easier, be safe, ignored and unheard
But authentic self, unafraid and unashamed courage
Proudly walking in your own truth, is it worth this?
And what happens when you've disguised too long?
When truth is blurred and broken, self is lost in shadows
What then will become of you? Faceless and mute
Passing through the crowds like a ghost, unseen, unheard
Velvet ribbon now lies shredded and stained underfoot
And raven tresses rejoin the facade to keep you lost
Hidden inside yourself, as melancholy sighs in the dark

Smile and hurl

Written several months ago, but only now publishing... when I re-read it I didn't even remember writing it... The mind is a strange and dangerous, confusing place...

Sometimes I kill myself inside my mind
I wake up and every part of the day that goes by gets more and more difficult
More difficult to breathe, more difficult to think
More and more difficult just to exist
I want things that my mind cannot grasp and so it shuts down
It tells my body not to move, to sit alone in my cocoon
Smile as the world flies by, as my life flies by
Paralyzed, absolutely paralyzed by something I dont understand
Something I cannot comprehend, even if I think I'm getting close
They say pray, they say trust, they say keep going, keep believing
Keep smiling
Broken, crooked and cracked,
Filthy, sagging, and hideous
This smile is not for sale
This smile is not for what it seems
Cannot be forced or fashioned by someone to whom it doesn't belong
You don't own my smile
My smile... what a silly concept
Unreal, untrue, unimaginable


When I wake up and everything is on my shoulders, standing on the edge
The edge of a slippery, steep, cold slope of today's disappointments
I cannot help but imagine lying there at the top of the hill
Lying there to freeze to death in the cold comfort of the icy hilltop
Where everything is easier, everything is clearer, everything can be seen from up there
How can I rationalize climbing that hill,
Only to hurl myself down to the bottom on these flimsy slabs of metal and plastic?
But to give into the weight of the world on my shoulders
Self absorbed, holier than thou, better than you, control freak, judgmental, bitch
Misunderstood
Misinformed
Misjudged
Misused
Miss Drama Queen

Who am I?
Am I at the top of the mountain, at the bottom, or already hurling through trees and rocks?
Am I smiling, frowning, scowling, crying, or expressionless?
Am I caring, selfless, sentimental, beautiful, amazing, perfect?
Am I ignorant, evil, rude, self righteous, ugly, useless, unlovable?
Is there even a point in wondering?
I am me!
Do you accept me?
Do I even accept me?
Am I even me??
I am... inside me... I am
Who are you?

The Words

Sometimes words just flow like tears
Coming on suddenly, without warning
Lasting for what seems like forever
But never expressing enough
There will always be more to come
Deep within, it creeps to the surface
Dormant for so long, it bleeds out
Dripping with emotion, ups and downs
Often with despair, often with joy

Sometimes, however... they do not come
The silence inside is overwhelming
Cracking like dry clay, wasting away
The emptiness takes hold of all
As though nothing real or true remains
Consuming fire turns triumph to ashes
Cobwebs and dust begin to take shape
Time sweeps by, days turn to months
Seems as though the words will never return

What a fickle thing these words are
Coming and going as they please
Filling the soul with frustration, confusion
Indecisive and volatile, with golden breath
They breathe hope, then grief to our hearts
They bring us closer, while tearing us apart
A writer's curse, the broken mind
When words come calling, a rush of life
But when they forsake us, silent ruins