Peaces of Silence

My verse for this period of life, that I keep coming back to:

 

"Be still and know that I am God" - Psalm 46:10

 

Such a simple statement, but a lot is to be gained from that small verse... Be still, calm down and stop and wait (a lot of countries/religions have prayer times and healings that last for hours or even days, just sitting in silence praying)

And know that I am God... that encompasses so much. Know that I am God! That means He is more powerful and more strong than anything else coming at us! It means He is always there, He is always watching out for what is meant to be and what is right for us.

Also:

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:37-39

More than conquerors... we have the power, through Him, to conquer all of these worries, struggles, stresses, illness, anything! 

 

The key thing hidden in both of these verses is... We have to choose to accept it and use the power to be a conqueror... we have to choose to accept and admit our own failures and missteps. We must be still and contemplate, pray, meditate on things, or sometimes just be still... period. This country is constantly going, moving, working, eating, drinking, living. We have forgotten the value of silence and rest, true rest and true silence (inward, as well as outward). We wonder why there are so many heart problems, anger issues, digestive problems, and mental issues. We have shorted out our circuits and can no longer function! We need to take time to be still and know that He has our backs. He is God! He is our strength, He knows our troubles and HE can handle it! When we accept this and surrender to Him, then we can begin to heal and to breathe and to conquer! 

So, this holiday season... chill, relax, laugh, love, rest, smile! If something doesn't get done, someone doesn't get a card/gift, or you are late for a Christmas party... so what? The world will not shatter and life will not end! If someone says something or does something you don't like, be the bigger person and get over it! Pray for them to realize they're wrong (if they are) or pray for YOU to be free of your pride (if they aren't). And if there is something going on in your life that is bigger than all that, then realize that you cannot handle it on your own. Cast your burdens on Jesus and rest in His love and His peace and His strength. Be still and know that He is God and that YOU are more than a conqueror, through Him!

Take Five

It has been 5 years... I still cannot grasp how quickly these years have passed. Seems only yesterday we were walking down the path at Linear. Taking cautious steps toward something new, something exciting and different. Something that would end up being so amazing and so unexpectedly beautiful.
I think of the term "take five"... a rest, a time of reflection, a time to gather thoughts and move forward. It is appropriate for our 5th anniversary to take time to reflect on the past and all we've been through together and gather our thought for moving into our future together. To rest in our love and in God's love for us. I love you and I am so excited to "take five" with my best friend, my love, my soul. Happy anniversary, to my husband of 5 unbelievable years and a toast to many more


Tribute to a love I had not known
That which I had so yearned for
Amazing blessing from my Father
Something I have not earned
Yet given freely to have and hold
Interlaced and joined for a lifetime
Today I thank God for this gift
In humility, I pray for years ahead
To go by slow enough to cherish
Graceful pages filled with memories

I pray for hills gone over together
For beautiful aged gray embrace Polishing silver and golden unity
Forever may our hands interlace


This is my solemn vow to You
To never forget this beauty, this life
His smile like a sunrise at my beckon call
His touch, as close as heaven comes
On this earth, comfort like a warm blanket
Believing in me and challenging my dark
As I scream disappointment and doubt
He extracts apologetic love from places
I alone cannot find, desperately searching
Together we will plant our flag, stake claim
To this unexpected, sudden new world
Of ups and downs, relinquishing control
For better or worse, sickness and health
Today, tomorrow, forever
Yes, of course... I do

Honey, I'm Home

Shotgun at the ready, cocked and loaded
Thinking about doing away with these plans
Thinking of letting loose and letting go
Shooting holes in white picket fences
Giving up like a good quitter should
No more wishing and hoping and thinking and praying
For something that may never come to pass
And why should it? Why me over you?
I surely don't deserve any more than I have
But maybe there's a small chance that I do
But is what I deserve truly what I want?
Do I even know what I want anymore?
Wanting and needing
Thinking and knowing
Don't always mesh, don't always work
Who am I to decide? Just a vessel, I suppose
My own best friend, my own worst enemy

In reality, just a coward inside
My thoughts, feelings, and plans
A more bold and exciting version of me
Exists on the flip side of this person I've become
But reality spins me full circle again
Never follow through, never take a stand
So I'll carefully slide it back into the holster
Warm on my hip, it sleeps and waits
For my mind is a carousel, spinning in circles
Each thought passes round, then gone in flash
But you can be sure, it will return again
In one revolution of this torturous ride
Where the music stops, the thoughts subside
Nobody knows, so I sit and stare
My mind spinning around and around
Right before my bloodshot eyes

Obsolete

Folded like origami
Into shapes and sizes
Out of pieces
Torn and discarded

Scraps of fiber
Woven tightly into something
Warm and comforting
Beautiful

Leftover portions
Blend into one flavor
One of a kind
A recipe to cherish

Broken, shattered granules
Ground into almost nothing
Together, like a blanket
A playground of summer smiles

Collages made of things once deemed useless
Connected and combined, they form a special something
Something of value, of worth, of meaning
Never look at little pieces, scars, decisions, memories...
As something to be thrown away, forgotten, ignored
All these tiny things have their purpose and can be used
Nothing useless, nothing worthless, nothing pointless
Something good can come of this
Something amazing from something ordinary
Do not give up on it, just because it looks like nothing
For without nothing... Something has no meaning

Life In A Blur

These yearnings and hesitations keep fighting one another for a compromise that seems impossible. Perfectionism and laziness lock horns and keep me sedentary. A losing battle, a hopeless cause, confusing and consuming, I cannot stand it any longer. Others start to notice and point out the lack of change. What if this never goes away? What if that never comes to pass? One day all the yesterdays will catch up with me, then I'll be old and disappointed, disheartened, disenchanted... with nothing to show for myself except a lifetime of what ifs and somedays, stuck in a rut, making excuses, hiding behind or running away from failures that were never given a chance to fail. Each second turns to hours, which multiply to months, and soon a decade has gone by like a tornado... never saw it coming and now it's gone. Life... such a complicated, frustrating, exciting, depressing word. Is it a blessing or a curse? Who is really living it? When will it end or begin... and will I know the difference? Blurring fantasy with reality, today with yesterday... not knowing how to make distinctions needed in order to do something so simple. To live and breathe, just to make it through... one day at a time

Inside the Blue

Inside the blue
I wade and wander
Reaching out from within

Inside the grey
My eyes cloud over
Fog envelops all

Inside the white
I see a future
Blank canvas of hope

Inside the pink
Feminine freedom
I am a child again

Inside the green
A chance to change
And just to be, exist

Inside the black
Spiraling darkness
Comfort in this place

Inside the yellow
You are my sunshine
New decisions bloom

Inside the brown
Dirty and mindless
I'm covered in shame

Inside the orange
Tempers flaring
Fire burns much deeper

Inside the red
A silent yearning
Pounding in my skull

Inside the blue
I return to this
My cold, pure truth


For inside of me
The colors blur
They fade in and out

Inside this palette
Someday, I believe
I may just find myself

Something Special

Its in a look, a glance, shared and understood
It's in a smile, a tear, landing in a common pool
It's in the laughter, the love, cherished together
It's in the sights, the smells, things that made home
It's in a feeling, a heartache, burning deep within
It's in your eyes, your heart, memories we hold
It's in the knowledge, the comfort of tomorrow
It's in a place where we will finally meet again