Obsolete

Folded like origami
Into shapes and sizes
Out of pieces
Torn and discarded

Scraps of fiber
Woven tightly into something
Warm and comforting
Beautiful

Leftover portions
Blend into one flavor
One of a kind
A recipe to cherish

Broken, shattered granules
Ground into almost nothing
Together, like a blanket
A playground of summer smiles

Collages made of things once deemed useless
Connected and combined, they form a special something
Something of value, of worth, of meaning
Never look at little pieces, scars, decisions, memories...
As something to be thrown away, forgotten, ignored
All these tiny things have their purpose and can be used
Nothing useless, nothing worthless, nothing pointless
Something good can come of this
Something amazing from something ordinary
Do not give up on it, just because it looks like nothing
For without nothing... Something has no meaning

Life In A Blur

These yearnings and hesitations keep fighting one another for a compromise that seems impossible. Perfectionism and laziness lock horns and keep me sedentary. A losing battle, a hopeless cause, confusing and consuming, I cannot stand it any longer. Others start to notice and point out the lack of change. What if this never goes away? What if that never comes to pass? One day all the yesterdays will catch up with me, then I'll be old and disappointed, disheartened, disenchanted... with nothing to show for myself except a lifetime of what ifs and somedays, stuck in a rut, making excuses, hiding behind or running away from failures that were never given a chance to fail. Each second turns to hours, which multiply to months, and soon a decade has gone by like a tornado... never saw it coming and now it's gone. Life... such a complicated, frustrating, exciting, depressing word. Is it a blessing or a curse? Who is really living it? When will it end or begin... and will I know the difference? Blurring fantasy with reality, today with yesterday... not knowing how to make distinctions needed in order to do something so simple. To live and breathe, just to make it through... one day at a time

Inside the Blue

Inside the blue
I wade and wander
Reaching out from within

Inside the grey
My eyes cloud over
Fog envelops all

Inside the white
I see a future
Blank canvas of hope

Inside the pink
Feminine freedom
I am a child again

Inside the green
A chance to change
And just to be, exist

Inside the black
Spiraling darkness
Comfort in this place

Inside the yellow
You are my sunshine
New decisions bloom

Inside the brown
Dirty and mindless
I'm covered in shame

Inside the orange
Tempers flaring
Fire burns much deeper

Inside the red
A silent yearning
Pounding in my skull

Inside the blue
I return to this
My cold, pure truth


For inside of me
The colors blur
They fade in and out

Inside this palette
Someday, I believe
I may just find myself

Something Special

Its in a look, a glance, shared and understood
It's in a smile, a tear, landing in a common pool
It's in the laughter, the love, cherished together
It's in the sights, the smells, things that made home
It's in a feeling, a heartache, burning deep within
It's in your eyes, your heart, memories we hold
It's in the knowledge, the comfort of tomorrow
It's in a place where we will finally meet again

Slight of Hand to Mouth

Colder, darker, deeper, farther
from the truth, from the past
present, future heartaches
headaches, beating, burning
fire licks the night skies, stars
aligning, creating works of art
gallery of pain, vulnerable
new, fresh hurt and scars
remain in place, forever
always there to remind us
memories, scraps of life
death, falling down and out
to sea with crashing waves
of nausea, of anxiety for now
today, a choice to move along
the winding road to nowhere
nothing, something, anything at all
in all that's taken from me, writing
poems, lyrics, stories from within
without another look behind
in a rearview mirrored self
closer than appears, I'm here

Over It

Over and under and all about
Wandering, weaving in and out
Searching and staring above and below
Pacing, discerning, to stay or to go
Coming and going, here and there
Empty, blank and bewildered stare

What is this place? Where am I?
Jump up, lie back down with a sigh
A dream or a nightmare, reality calls
At last say goodbye, pull over the palls
For this place has become a prison cell
No tears, no regrets, no note of farewell
Just a faint imprint on the pillowcase
Too exhausted with life to finish the race

Don't waste another second on her
Take your steps away, up and over
For tomorrow will erase all memory
Of the dream that never came to be

Any Someone Else

I'm not better than anyone else
I just know better than someone else
I'm not prettier than anyone else
I'm just more real than someone else
I'm not more Christian than anyone else
I just feel Christ more than someone else
I'm not healthier than anyone else
I'm just more conscious than someone else
I'm not happier than anyone else
I just live differently than someone else

I'm not like anyone else
I'm just more me than someone else

I'm unapologetically, indescribably, frustratingly, mind-numbingly, self loathing, simply complicated me