Over It

Over and under and all about
Wandering, weaving in and out
Searching and staring above and below
Pacing, discerning, to stay or to go
Coming and going, here and there
Empty, blank and bewildered stare

What is this place? Where am I?
Jump up, lie back down with a sigh
A dream or a nightmare, reality calls
At last say goodbye, pull over the palls
For this place has become a prison cell
No tears, no regrets, no note of farewell
Just a faint imprint on the pillowcase
Too exhausted with life to finish the race

Don't waste another second on her
Take your steps away, up and over
For tomorrow will erase all memory
Of the dream that never came to be

Any Someone Else

I'm not better than anyone else
I just know better than someone else
I'm not prettier than anyone else
I'm just more real than someone else
I'm not more Christian than anyone else
I just feel Christ more than someone else
I'm not healthier than anyone else
I'm just more conscious than someone else
I'm not happier than anyone else
I just live differently than someone else

I'm not like anyone else
I'm just more me than someone else

I'm unapologetically, indescribably, frustratingly, mind-numbingly, self loathing, simply complicated me

Last Step

When your smile is fading, the light disappears
Where there's nothing but darkness, faces of fears
Staring and chasing you down as you run
Solace and peace in the form of a gun
But what lies beyond this seeming escape
Dark shadows and demons begin to take shape
Can't help but wonder which fate is worse
The drama and pressure of chapter and verse
Or the torture of throwing this story away
All consuming fire making ashes of today
But tomorrow seems too hard to bear
When, little by little you've ceased to care
What lurks in wait, behind the other door
And whether this is all worth fighting for
A blanket of prayer has covered you
Until you decided you know not what you do

Written in the Stars

Folded and creased, as if this were not the first time
Eraser marks and water stains leave memories of pain
Couldn't even articulate my feelings in my last moments
Seem like such a failure, such a disappointment to all
Words wont even flow when these are my final ones
So let the silence speak its volumes, if it wishes
Take from this what you will, or turn away and forget
My time here like a firefly, flickers then seems to disappear
Forgotten within seconds, until another flicker shines
But in a meadow filled with fireflies, who will notice one?
For, like stars in the night sky, they all can look alike
While some shine brighter, others fade away into dark
And burning sunshine comes to scare them all away
So after one has gone, the light will bring warmth again
People become only memories and life goes on
A melancholy portrait of the night sky, stars or souls
Who knows what became of those missing dots of light
Certain only that dawn will break and morning comes again

Quieted

Cold and burning, you bring such feelings
Senses of relief, comfort, betrayal, hurt, love,
You silently intertwine us together forever,
Not knowing, not feeling, not hearing, not seeing,
You are my lover, my demon, my child, my enemy,
Where are you taking me inside of my mind?
Just remember, I belong back here in perfect depression,
The dark reality of this burning, sober truth,
Golden darkness enveloping my soul and keeping me here,
Something I must accept and move on from, life as I know it,
Today and tomorrow, spreading like wildfire,
Taking over, living life as though there were no yesterday,
Only tomorrow, to face or hide from, a choice, a truth, today

Falls

Something's not quite right here
A feeling, a song, a memory
Teeters on the edge, on the brink
Of another day, another choice

Fleeting normalcy, still evading
My mind is a waterfall, rushing over the edge
With bone crushing force and mind numbing power
Yet, at a distance the sound so peaceful, the view so beautiful
Never suspecting the danger in its helplessness

Un-Perfect

There's something refreshing and beautiful in authentic, real, & true

A change in the atmosphere that can spread all around you

When every word is truly meant to be taken exactly as it's spoken

A promise may be a promise, but only until it's broken

This plastic, shiny, sparkling beauty that seems to be your goal

Just a programmed, varnished image designed to fill a hole

Inside of you, inside of me... Something just doesn't seem right

But its easier to smile and nod and never put up a fight

Reality is this: some of us can tell, maybe more than meets the eye

It's much more obvious than you imagine, we just don't see why

What's so wrong with anger, sadness, frustration, tears, & screams?

Beautiful is letting go and making known our fears and dreams

The most precious in ourselves is found in what we try to hide

Flaws and doubts and feelings aren't meant to stay inside

This smile and way of speaking, watching what you say

This will break, shatter to pieces and reveal itself someday

So, from one un-perfect human to another, I challenge you

When someone asks "How are you?", wonder if they knew

All your thoughts and feelings, if they could read you like a book

Don't answer with a canned response, take a second look