Anxiety Revealed

Keeping on, like masks from an old trunk in the attic
When there is nothing, here you will find something
To be confronted with this dusty old cobweb
Of buried emotions and hidden memories, thoughts
Arisen from ashes once sealed with a smile
For tomorrow has come, baring jagged teeth
Consume your soul with doubt and avoidance
No longer will you think, cry, laugh... feel
But motion by motion you'll be led to forget
And re-position the smile and mechanical moves
That keep you going and going until the end
When all of your masks will hide nothing but regret

Choice

Breathe in and out
Take a moment
Stop and listen
Wait for the light

Red to green
Skipping amber
Move forward again
Give it all away

You cannot say
This is in your mind
All in your head
Not screwed on tight

Searing and sizzling
Sounds of choices
Spinning around around
Never slowing down

Then green turns to red
Skipping amber
Sudden and forced
Heart is pounding

Hit the ground
Look up, finally
Missed your chance
All alone and cold

The rats come creeping
Out from sewers
Ready for you to go
Home to the depths

Now you realize
Selfish denial relived
As the gates open
And the flames rise

Sickening grin flashes
As serpent slinks away
Into the darkness
Leaves only silence

A Little Bit Of Everything

When I remember my Grandma I think about a little bit of everything

A little bit of her kind heart, a little bit of her brave spirit, of her feisty sense of humor, a little bit of her warm smile, of her generous nature, and more than a little bit of her faith in God

Just like at family dinners, where she would always try a little bit of everything

She was always willing and open to finding the good in what she was given

You would never spend more than 5 minutes with her without seeing a smile on her face

She was not one for petty gossip or judgment, and always had good things to say about someone

She loved her family and her church and would take interest in anything you were willing to share

You could plan to visit for only a short time and end up spending hours at the house

Simply because she would ask about everything and would listen to every word

All while offering you anything but the kitchen sink (and maybe even that, if you asked nicely)

A fridge stocked with sodas and ice cream, an envelope full of coupons, duplex cookies in the brown tin, licorice bites from the cross-stitched jar, or pink thingies from the tupperware canister

You could always feel welcomed and accepted at Grandma and Grandpa's

They have given such a beautiful example of family and they are a shining light of hope for marriage

If the term "fighting like an old married couple" could be found in the dictionary

There would be a picture of my grandparents along with it

They bickered about what day who called or what grandpa ordered last time they were out

Of course this almost always came to the conclusion that grandma was right and grandpa was wrong

But just inside the bickering was an obvious deep love and respect for one another

A love that anyone who met them could tell would last forever

I thank God that I was blessed to spend my life in the company of this love and in the company of such an extraordinary woman, my grandmother

~ RIP ~ Mabel Fern Amand "Grandma" ~ 1925-2010 ~
Obituary Link 

Fragility

Fragile is life
One day we are laughing
The next we are grieving

Morning shines us awake
Darkness comes within hours

Fragile is life
Selfish feuds seem so silly
When today is all we have
Beauty in knowing one another
Accepting, flaws and all

Fragile is life
Today is a gift
Tomorrow a privilege
Please remember me after
Please love me before

Fragile is life
Warmth becoming cold
So sudden, without warning
Cherish and hold dear
Value in one another

**~~**

For fragile lives perish
Gone in an instant
Past cannot be found
When future is here
So hold onto today
Don't wait for tomorrow
As a painting on the wall
The contrast in our lives
Makes for precious art

Love, live, be
Never let the moon rise
Before you've basked in the sunlight
Never let the stars shine
Before you've bathed in the blue sky
Feel the warmth, feel the beauty
That is life

Fragile is life
Take good care
Before it shatters and fades away

Fractured Reality

Shards of who I am lie scattered in the basin
Slowly drowning in rushing water as it flows
Over imperfections and potential
Hidden in each piece of this glass
Reflects and casts light on every flaw
Turning to a pool of tears and defeat

The water escapes, along with tiny remnants
All splayed out, misshapen and distorted
Shaking my head, I keep turning away
Doubt turns to anger, turning to emptiness
Gives way to the nothing I've transformed into
Nothing to lose, nothing to give, nothing to be


Who will risk themselves for this?
To pick up pieces of broken self
Reach into scalding water, red with blood
Burned and cut up for your cause, and for what?
Denied and ignored, even after all this
Even as I reach out in anger, pushing away
Knocking them from your open hands

But still... outstretched and torn apart
Again, you are picking up pieces of me
Silently, with tears in your eyes
Waiting to offer restoration and hope
As the black rushes over, gripping tightly
Like thorn covered vines, holding on for dear life
Rising up from the drain to claim pieces

Holding nothing back, fury bubbles and boils
For the darker the water, gets harder to see
The pieces sink deeper into the mess
I take my steps away, turning my back
From the war that ensues over scraps
Of identity, truth... of life, death and reality
In my bathroom sink

Finding Truth

Muffled cries of defense penetrate the silence
But you cannot hear

Shaded smiles of forgiveness break the tension
But you cannot see

Open dialogue is welcome in this safe place
But you cannot speak

Tomorrow comes, with or without you
Blessed with ears, eyes, and a voice... but how will you use them?

Come out of your self obsessed shell
Open yourself to a world of respect
For others, from others... For God, from God

Creating a personalized world of safety and comfort
This is not truth, this is not real, this is not life
Easy is a myth, bipartisan a fantasy
"Your truth"... "Your God"
"My truth"... "My God"
No such thing... Truth is Truth

Seek and ye shall find, but what ye find may not be truth

"But I am afraid that, just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ. For if someone comes to you and preaches a Jesus other than the Jesus we preached, or if you receive a different spirit from the one you received, or a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it easily enough." - 2 Corinthians 11:3-4

Be still

To the daybreak
Dew drops and rainbows collide with grey skies of pain

To the morning
Shake off and start new in pastel, breathe in and out

To the afternoon
Choices of today are embraced or wasted, up to you, up to me

To the evening
Nightfall covers bright colors of sunset, contemplating past and future

To the midnight
Should be wrapped in dreams and rest, eyes wide open to the dark

To tomorrow
Distant uncertainty, yet closer than we can bear

To right now
Seconds passing, turn to minutes, turn to hours

Spent coming, going, doing, thinking, planning, praying, worrying, wondering, breathing, smiling, crying, laughing, fighting, loving, eating, drinking, purging, playing, reading, asking, dancing, hearing, ignoring, seeing, trying, driving, screaming, shopping, staring, sleeping, numbing, holding, grieving, existing, never stopping
Going... going... gone

Be still and know

He is holy

We are flawed

Sin is inevitable

Life goes on

Cannot rewind

The choice is ours

Be still and know

Beauty

Despite the fact that, supposedly Dove is affiliated with Axe (whose commercials objectify and degrade women and humanity)... I do respect what they're trying to do here with the campaign for real beauty and exposing real women, wrinkles, fat rolls, age spots, freckles, imperfect teeth and all. That beauty comes from the inside out, through self esteem, compassion, honesty, and maturity.

Beauty is in the eye of the Creator...
If we all saw one another (as well as ourselves) through His eyes...
Beauty would take on a whole new meaning

Please click on the links below to watch these videos and share them with your daughters, your granddaughters, and your son & grandsons as well. Then discuss and affirm others, so we can all accept our true beauty and never try to be someone we're not.

Evolution

Onslaught